MONDAY, August 18: My father made breakfast for us as usual. I read my Bible for today, then I read several chapters in "The Hour that Changes the World," by Dick Eastman. My mother went to work, so Craig and I said good-bye to her. I could not give her a warm good-bye, but only an uninterested neutral good-bye as a result of the religious division between us. Craig and I went to the Dentist by 10:15, and I read the book while I waited to be called. After my teeth were cleaned, the dentist put some fillings on 6 of my teeth to prevent the possibility of cavities. I did not get out until 11:45 a.m. My father then took me to the auto insurance place in Margate to resign my insurance policy. I went home and I read some more after eating some cereal. It was raining, and I wanted to mow the back lawn for my father and Brad, so I waited until the rain stopped and the grass dried and then I mowed the grass. I did it unto the Lord and my father. It was the least I could do for all that my parents had done for me. Craig and I then said good-bye to my father and drove off by 3:30 p.m. I only shook hands with my father, but I could tell that he wanted me to hug him. My spirit was just not over-joyed to be with him. Although I love my parents, it is obvious that an unbeliever does not have anything in common with a believer. I hoped that this would not be the last time I see my father, otherwise I would regret hugging him. I feel bad about the depressed attitude that I have toward my parents, but what can I do? They are against the very thing that is the most important to me. Both my mother and my father said good-bye with smiles and joy, but I could not do the same. After 2 hours of driving, Craig stopped at the turnpike's plaza for a break. We ate a 20 minute hamburger and french fries meal, then played Centipede. I completed my book, "The Hour that changes the World," and then I completed "Diligence" by Dennis Burke. After this, I then read the chapter on prayer and fasting in Rice's book and read the Tampa Revival Prayer Strategy packet. Craig took me to Kash-n-Karry by 8:30 p.m. and I bought a banana and a pear to eat tonight for my last light meal before my 3 1/2 day fast. Craig and I spend 1/2 hour in checking in and moving into our room, 1107. Franco met us outside our car unexpectedly. Craig called my mother so that she would know that we got here all right. I organized my room and packed my clothes away. I typed in my diary a little for the past few days so that I can print out last week's diary tomorrow at work. I meditated on Galatians 3:13-14 for the 3rd night before bed before 12.

About the books: the following are the key concepts that stuck out to me in Dick Eastman's book, "The Hour that Changes the World." "Prayer was more than a part of Christ's life, it was His life... In prayer you align yourselves to the purpose and power of God and He is able to do things through you that He couldn't do otherwise. For this is an open universe, where some things are left open, contingent upon our doing them. If we do not do them, they will never be done. For God has left certain things open to prayer- things which will never be done except as we pray... What we do for the Lord is entirely dependant upon what we are in the Lord. Furthermore, what we are in the Lord wholly depends upon what we receive from the Lord. And what we receive from the Lord is directly proportional to the time we spend alone with the Lord in prayer... To be effective out sixty minutes with God should be carefully arranged. Systematic prayer adds health to the devotional habit. Most tasks in life are accomplished systematically. In fact without systematic approach to life, many goals would remain unreached. The same is true with prayer... 'Prayer does not come naturally to men. It must be learned.'.. Be careful not to become a slave to any 'prayer system." Indeed, prayer is not a system at all but the development of a relationship between man and God." First we enter our prayer with 1.Praise. Hallow means "to revere or to sanctify," which means to "set apart." Joe Smith took his cliche out of this book which was said by an old Presbyterian catechism, "the chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." "Some have taught that confession should be first in prayer because sin makes effective praying impossible. True, sin does rob prayer of power. And confession is important. but were it not for a loving, merciful God, confession of sins would mean very little, regardless of when it was included during prayer. So, we must first draw our attention to God in prayer before we draw our attention to self... Basically, praise is the act of expressing one's esteem of a person for his virtues or accomplishments. It is to pronounce that person 'worth of honor.'.. First, we should praise God for His name... Secondly we should praise God for His righteousness... God is the standard... Thirdly we should praise God for His infinite creation... Finally we should praise God for His Word." This was a lot of key revelation for the first chapter. I'm going to have to be much briefer on the others. 2.Waiting: "Waiting on the Lord is basically the silent surrendering of the soul to God... Praise is verbalizing our esteem of God. Waiting is a time of silent love. Praise cries boldly, 'God, I see these excellent qualities in your nature.' Waiting says softly, 'God, I love you.'.. Being alone with God is the central issue of waiting... Knowing someone intimately is impossible with limited attention. Intimacy takes time and concentration... Think no thoughts but thoughts of God the Father, His Son Jesus, or the Holy Spirit... Concentrate full attention on the 'love' aspect of God's nature in these minutes of silence." 3.Confession: In greek, "confess means 'to agree with God' concerning His opinion of a mater. It also means 'to admit my guilt'... Of course, God does not ask us to confess our sins because He needs to know we have sinned, but because He knows that we need to know we have sinned... Why is confession so difficult for some? The moment we admit that a particular act displeases God, we recognize the responsibility to change it. Immediately an inner battle of the will begins to take place... As Christians our ultimate goal in prayer must be to glorify God by changing the world. God desires to pour Himself through us into our world, thus bringing about this change... Those most mightily used of God were also those most willing to confess their weaknesses... 'Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me' Ps. 51:10-11." 4.Scripture Praying: "Try to include approximately one chapter during each devotional hour... You are searching the Scripture for actual power that might be applied to your petitions... Develop actual prayers based on the thoughts and phrases included in a verse of Scripture and offer those prayers confidently to the Lord." 5.Watching: "First, endeavor to read material that makes you spiritually 'aware' of specific world needs... Second, during prayer strive to reflect mentally about 'news' of the day... Finally, ak the Holy Spirit to show you exactly what you should claim in prayer and how you should claim it... There is nothing wrong with developing a consistent, systematic habit of prayer, as long as we carefully 'watch' that our praying remains truly spiritual." 6.Intercession: "Basically, intercession is prayer offered on behalf of another. When the prayer warrior intercedes he forgets his personal needs and focuses all of his faith and prayer-attention on others... Summon a new compassion for these moments of intercession, so your praying will reach out to the lost with genuine concern. Fill your intercession with the four key scriptural claims: Ask God to give more laborers to the harvest, to open doors for these workers, to bless them with fruit as the result of their efforts, and with finances to expand their work. Always endeavor to include specific countries and their leaders during your time of intercession... Almost half of the earth's population live under just such conditions where they prohibit evangelistic activity... Ask God to cause a specific person or group of people to ask the following questions, Whom can I trust? What is my purpose? When will I really be free? Why do people hate religion? How can I cope with my problems? Where will I go when I die?" 7.Petition: "We go before God as an attorney with a carefully prepared argument upon which to base our case. We have a sincere, unselfish basis for our requests. Our motive is pure and our arguments well ordered... Begin your petition by asking the Holy Spirit to help you claim only those desires that will bring special honor to the Lord... Frequently examine your motives for claiming a petition. Be certain they are pure in the sight of God." 8.Thanksgiving: "Basically, thanksgiving is the act of expressing specific gratitude to God for blessings He has bestowed upon us. These expressions may be mental or vocal. Thanksgiving differs from praise in that praise focuses on who God is, whereas thanksgiving focuses on what God has specifically done for us. As one writer explains, 'When we give thanks we give God the glory for what He has done for us; and when we worship or give praise, we give God glory for what He is in Himself'... A wandering mind normally hinders effective praying, but if properly channeled it actually can prove helpful during your time of thanksgiving. Allow your mind to wander through the previous day's activities. This will lead you to many point of concentration for specific thanksgiving... First, confess spiritual blessings... Second, confess material blessings. Be very specific, remembering even the little things. Thank Him for the chair in which you sit, or the warmth of the room. The more specific thanksgiving becomes, the more meaningful a role it will play in your devotional life... Third, confess physical blessings... Fourth, confess external blessings... But especially strive to escape the tendency of generalized thanksgiving... Frequently thank God 'in advance' for blessings you expect Him to bestow on you in the future. 9.Singing: "Their songs of praise were most certainly based on melodies created in their hearts. To these melodies were added personal words of praise... Do not be concerned if your voice seems somewhat unpleasant... Sing of God's power and mercy... Sing a song of thanksgiving... Fourth, sing the name of God... The Bible says, 'God was in Christ' when He reconciled the world (II Cor. 5:19). This makes it possible to praise the name of the Lord Jesus Christ in song... Fifth, sing God's Word... Finally, sing a new song... It refers to a song from my heart that I have never sung before." 10.Meditation: It is the giving of attention to how we might specifically apply these ponderings after the devotional hour has ended... Waiting is an act of loving, while meditation is an act of thinking... First, focus meditation on God Himself, God's Word, the works of God, past victories, and positive thoughts... In times of distress and discouragement much spiritual relief can be found in looking at the many blessings of God has given us in previous days... Allow your mind to wander within the framework of your chosen theme. Ponder all aspects of the theme carefully in reference to God." 11.Listening: "To listen in prayer is to mentally absorb divine instructions from God concerning specific matters for that day... Rosalind Rinker advises, 'Instead of each of us making a prayer speech to Him, let's talk things over with Him, back and forth, including Him in it as we do when we have a conversation.'.. Listening implies confidence that God truly desires to speak to us... Our goal in prayer is to discover what God wants us to do so that He will be glorified... The value of having paper and pencil is that it displays faith. It says to God, 'I believe you will truly speak to me, and I have come prepared to record your instructions.'.. In the 'listening' time of prayer do not hesitate to ask God very specific questions about difficult problems or situations... Mentally evaluate all circumstances that relate to a problem. Ask God to show you His plan through those circumstances." 12.Praise: "We must learn to take the spirit of praise with us from the prayer closet. No amount of prayer holds value if the prayer warrior remains unchanged... Make your amen strong, never doubting that God is surely listening to you. This is what amen means: That I know with certainty that this prayer has been heard by God... End your prayer with specific praise concerning God's greatness. Focus your praise on His omnipotence (power), His omniscience (knowledge), and His omnipresence (presence)... Repeat the universal word for praise, Hallelujah!" Conclusion.The Destiny of Nations: "Accomplishment always begins with a commitment of the will.. Once a commitment is made, following through and persistence are essential... Recognize the overwhelming importance of your daily hour with God. Until we recognize the full worth of our prayers, we will never develop a consistent habit of prayer... Beloved, it is not age, experience, talent, or material wealth that makes the difference in the destiny of men and nations. Prayer alone will change the world. It is true that God may use age, experience, talent, and material wealth to help carry forth His purposes, but only when each is properly backed by prayer. Without prayer, every effort is wasted for it leaves God out of the picture." This book was good and I must develop these stages in my prayer time. *END*

The next good book was "Diligence"- A guide to successfully attaining your God-given goals, by Dennis Burke: "YOU WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE LASTING SATISFACTION IN ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF THE ACTIVITIES AND IDEAS INSPIRED BY GOD. GOD HAS CALLED YOU AND ME TO BECOME CO-CREATORS WITH HIM. WHEN YOU APPLY EVERY RESOURCE AVAILABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THE GOALS GOD HAS GIVEN YOU, YOU WILL FIND FULFILLMENT." Chapter 1 entitled, "The Reward of Diligence:" "Man wants to obtain the goals that will create within himself a lasting satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment. When God first created man, He gave him a task, the fulfilling of which would keep him in a place of continual satisfaction and fellowship with his Creator. The task: Subdue the earth and have dominion over it. (Gen. 1:28)... THERE IS NO LASTING SATISFACTION IN ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF ACTIVITIES AND IDEAS INSPIRED BY GOD... Diligence is an inward attitude expressed first in a deep desire for intimate relationship with God. Then it works its way our into the activity of serving others... There will always be those who will seek the reward and not the Rewarder. But that does not change the fact that God gives rewards. And He does so because He knows how we are made. HE IS AWARE THAT THE ANTICIPATION AND EXPECTATION OF A REWARD WILL MOTIVATE US TO ACTION. David is a perfect example. He was a man after God's own heart. Yet in 1 Samuel 17:24,25 you will find that when David heard of the rich reward (INCLUDING THE HAND IN MARRIAGE OF THE KING'S OWN DAUGHTER) offered to the man who slew Goliath, he stood forth boldly and brought deliverance to Israel. Certainly David's actions were motivated primarily by his love for God and his people, and a hatred for the offender. But he was also aware of the reward he could expect to receive as a result of those actions. [I will use this in my testimony in the future***]... Those who are diligent to do what God has said will receive the reward for their actions... Build a strong foundation in your life. Establish yourself on God's Word. Allow yourself to increase one step at a time... Set your sights high." Chapter 2 entitled, "Go to the Ant:" "The ant is self-motivated. It requires no overseer... [The Holy Spirit] will become the motivator within you, moving you in the direction of achievement... Proverbs 13:4 says, The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing. Desire is an important first step to receiving anything from God. However, it requires diligence in applying God's Word to release God's creative power from your spirit and to bring that desire into reality. [Good News version: Prov.13:4- No matter how much a lazy person may want something, he will never get it. A hard worker will get everything he wants.].. You have the desire to be motivated by the Word of God. Cultivate that desire. Let it begin to take root in your heart. You have the ability to be a planner because you have God's ability in you. Let the determination of the Holy Spirit make you a success at everything you put your hand to." Chapter 3 entitled, "The Blessing of Obedience." "Begin to commune with God and realize that His presence with you empowers you to do the things which are pleasing in His sight... God is looking for those who will become more dependant upon Him." Chapter 4 entitled, "It's How You Finish that Counts:" "Uzziah prospered as long as he sought God. He was successful as a leader of the people and his armies. But his heart was lifted up in pride and he became unfaithful to God. He died with leprosy... The message rings out: Those who don't race to finish look impressive for a time, but they do not complete their race as winners... Look to Jesus and not to yourself. His life-style is your goal. His life in you is your source. Recognize that it is His life in you that makes you a success at everything you do. Don't look at your lack of ability. To look continually at your own inadequacy or inability is to get your eyes off the author and finisher of your faith. He is the perfecter of your faith. As you continue to look to Him, your faith develops. The more you see Jesus, the more you understand His ability is available to you... You must never look to others for comparison. On the contrary, you must allow the victories of others to encourage you on to victory, and the failures of others to draw you into intercession for them. However, you must never compare yourself with someone else. Competition and comparison is a deadly trap the devil would like to use to snare believers. I have know people whose sole motivation was to make themselves greater in the eyes of people than someone else. They took their eyes off Jesus and put them on men. There is no place for competition in the Body of Christ. We are all aiming for the same goal. God has a plan for every individual to fulfill. You cannot do what God has told someone else to do and be successful at it. You must look to Jesus and find out what His desire is for you, then begin to fulfill it. That will make you successful! It is equally necessary to look to Jesus and not at your problems or the circumstances facing you... Peter began to sink, fearing what he saw. Jesus rebuked him because of his doubt. It was Peter's doubt in the ability of Jesus that caused him to look away from Jesus. As long as Peter continued to look at Jesus, he was walking on water miraculously... If you continue to look at your problems, they will seem to grow bigger and more overwhelming. However, when you look to Jesus it becomes easy to believe that He wants to move in your life... Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you (James 4:8). See yourself in light of Jesus. You belong to Him. This is the key to finishing the race. Consider Jesus above all else! Look to Jesus and succeed." Chapter 5 entitled, "Getting Ahead by Looking Back:" "Failure will always come if you quit when an obstacle stands in the way of attaining your goal... When you look back in your own life and remember how God has provided for you in the past, you can look ahead with confidence, knowing that He will do it again... Look back and reflect on those things that God has accomplished in your life. Let the inspiration it creates blossom into confidence for what lies ahead... If you will look back and see the good things God has done in your life, you can begin to look ahead with the right perspective... When David looked back and remembered God's great deliverance of him, it energized him with the confidence that this time would be no different. He saw no difference between this giant and the lion or bear. He was seeing things from God's vantage point. David's ability to remember the marvelous works of the Lord was one of the keys to his great success as king over God's people. He could look back with the right perspective and see the possibility of the future... Purposely forget and disregard those things of the past that bring discouragement. Paul said, 'One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal' (Phil 3:13). Satan loves to condemn you for your past failures and mistakes. But set them aside Look ahead. [The balance of this message is to look behind only when you can learn from your mistakes and thus help you in the future.] Chapter 6 entitled, "Reaching for the High Calling:" "Reach for the highest gifts heaven has to offer. They are within your grasp! Set the standard high! Seek 100% success. That way, even if you were to attain only one-half of what you were reaching for, you would still be ahead of the person who had set his standard at 25% and made it. Set your sights as high as you can. Then allow God to show you how to attain your goal... Your failures of the past do not make you a failure today. Your determination to succeed sets your destiny... It is those who reach out to know God's ways and think His thoughts who achieve the goals God desires for them. [Our high calling is similar to what God showed me as our purpose in life:] We have been called to liberty. We have been called to the fellowship of Jesus Christ. We have been called to be conformed to the image of Jesus... He desires to so dominate you that when people are with you they become inspired to a fresh commitment to walk with God and are uplifted by the contagious way you look at life... God's purpose in us is to bring our way of thinking and our attitudes into harmony with His will... God will create a dream within you, a dream of fulfilling His goals. Ascribe to that dream. Then cultivate a new way of thinking and speaking. Let your thoughts and words reflect the dream that is alive within you." AMEN. It seems to take me as long to type the review of a book into my diary as it does to read the book. I will have to shorten my book reviews.

TUESDAY, August 19: I went to Franco's apartment at 6:10 a.m. and we immediately started singing our prayers. Jim Blaha came later and joined us. Franco asked to take me out to breakfast, but I told him that I had to work at 9 a.m. and I was taking Craig out to breakfast. I was not going to eat since I am fasting till Friday morning, 3 1/2 days. I did not want to tell Franco this. Franco asked me if I wanted to come with him and share my testimony before he speaks tonight and Thursday night at the Methodist Church. I told him that I wouldn't go today, since I have other goals that I need to accomplish, but I will tell him if I will go with him on Thursday when I see him tomorrow. I took Craig to Burger King before we went to work at 9 a.m. and I almost completed all of the Management System by 5 p.m. (I am typing all this in on 8/25 so I have forgotten many things). I think that I worked in Joe Smith's book, "How to Win in Spiritual Warfare." I think that I completed chapter 5 on Covetousness. "Everyone has the ability to find something wrong with anything, at anytime, and in any place. Happy people simply refuse to do so. One of the main roots to discontentment is looking within and seeing your own personal lack of talents, gifts and abilities... To avoid the trap of comparing yourself to others begin to realize that through Christ Jesus each of us have been given the ability to please God in a way that no one else can." To the degree in which you give will be the measure to which you receive whether it is love, time talents, abilities, friendship, helping, etc.

WEDNESDAY, August 20: I prayed, then I went to FCIC at 9 a.m. to get the old version of Highland's County Management System, since Highland's needs an updated version. I went to ECI by 10 a.m. and worked till 11 a.m. I completed everything that I needed to do for the new management system. Ben is finishing GRADE, and then we will work together on PRINT. I read my Bible and did some other personal reading. I typed into my diary for my vacation and typed in Monday of this week, expanding on the two books that I read. I then printed out a copy of the highlights of these books from my diary since they will help me in the future, especially in explaining Dick Eastman's prayer system. I went to meet Dr. Strong to see if he could change my earned 'C' to a deserved 'B'. He was not there, so I wrote a persuasive note to him arguing my case of why I should receive a 'B'. I was very polite and honest in the note. I asked him to call me. Mostly, I am relying on God for "Favor" in this situation. I know that prayer and fasting helps produce favor. I am still on my fast. I got home at 4:30 p.m. and I had two visitors, William and Mike (his disciple). I was happy to see them, and I asked them to share about the leadership lab that they went to for the first week. They said that the prophesies were right on target, and the speakers were good. They continued witnessing the 2 question test in Fontana Hall's halls. They received a lot of good contacts. I read chapters 5,6 and 7 in "Speed Reading Made Easy." Chapter 5 entitled, "Shop Before you Read" encourages us to look at all the subheadings and estimate the time factor in reading the material. Chapter 6 entitled, "Sight Seeing as you Read" encourages us to find the major sentence idea in each paragraph since we cannot remember every idea. Chapter 8 is entitled, "Mining for details," and it teaches how to connect the main idea with the minor ideas in the paragraph so that you can remember all the details. I'm not sure, but I think that I did chapter 4 in the Spiritual Warfare book, I may have done chapter 5? I went to the Church Bible Study and the mature groups watched a video in which Larry Tomczak preached on "Making Disciples is Every Believer's Responsibility." Our first priority disciple is our wife, then it is our children. The whole basis of discipleship is friendship, which is something that is hard for me since it takes time to develop a good friendship, and time is the one thing that I lack. The disciple needs someone to emulate, to model their life after. We are not a part time tutor but a full time friend. A wife is the #1 sheep of the husband, it's his reflection. If you fail at home, you're a failure at life. If you are living something, then you can preach it with authority. We need to pray for our disciples as Jesus did. This convicted me. We should spend leisure time with them so that the communication is at ease. We should share our problems and our weaknesses with our disciple so that they know that we are real. Jesus allowed himself to be vulnerable and open to others, but this appeals to people. If the disciple thinks you're perfect then they will be afraid to open up. Jim led us in reviewing this video before we joined Franco's group to take up an offering and listen to the announcements. Franco would like some of us to go with him tomorrow to the Methodist Church where he will be preaching to a high school youth group. I decided that I would sacrifice my goals and time to go with him since he specifically wants me to share a 5 minute testimony, to learn his preaching technique, and to help in counselling those who give their lives to Jesus at the alter call. He thought that since there is no school then I did not have anything planned. However, I explained to him that I have not wasted a week in the past 8 years. I always have goals to accomplish. I just wanted him to understand this so that he knows where I am "coming from", but I also told him that I am learning from his as to how to have a balance of being able to an emergency at a minute's notice without saying "no, it would disrupt my goals." I spent almost an hour having fellowship with Robert and explaining why it is hard for me to develop a true friendship, because of time restraints. He mentioned that he has never been motivated to accomplish much. He has not been consistent at all with his prayer and Bible study for the past week. He also mentioned that he can look at me and share more openly with me since he knows that my motives are pure. I asked him how he could tell. He said that it becomes clear when he spends time with me. I was happy. I went home and I thought for almost 2 hours what I would say in my 5 minute testimony for tomorrow. It seems like I spend too much time in preparation for a speech. Someday I will be able to speak without much preparation. I went to bed at 12.

THURSDAY, August 21: I got up and prayed with Robert from 6:10 till 7:15 a.m. after opening with some words about prayer from Dick Eastman's book. We prayed the Larry Lea prayer guide. I prayed for a divine appointment and I believed God for it. He needs a lot of practice. He seems a little intimidated in my presence, like the way I used to be in Franco's presence. I then prepared my speech (5 minute testimony) for tonight before Craig and I went to Burger King. I did not eat today. I am feeling a little weak. I did not have any work to do so I typed into Peach Text the beginning outline of my testimony. Dr. Troutman got in at 10:15, and we had our meeting with Ben at 10:45 a.m. Ben and I showed her the Management system, mainly GRADE and PRESCRIP. Every time the phone rang and Dr. Troutman answered it, I went into the other room and thought about my testimony. I need to have the outline organized so that I have a form for which the Holy Spirit can add to. Craig notified us that he was going out for lunch, so Dr. Troutman asked if I wanted to go with him, but I said 'no'. She insisted, and I would have won my stand, but Craig made things worse by saying, "he's fasting." I did not want anyone to know this. Dr. Troutman asked when I will eat again and I confidently said, "only until tomorrow morning." However, she then asked when I started the fast, and I hesitantly said after awhile, "Monday night." She almost blew her top and said, "Oh Doug, God does not want you doing that." I did not say anything, but I discouraged the conversation. She was concerned about my body and my health. Although I am weak, I could handle it. I was not super "happy", but I did not show signs of "fasting." I am suppose to work on Highland's County's Management system now. I first worked on the Failure.dat file in GRADE. Craig took me to the store and I bought some bananas and two apples for breakfast tomorrow. I decided to break my fast tonight so that I would not give a "bad" speech tonight as a result of my feelings. After fasting for 3 days, I feel a bit dizzy and it's hard to concentrate, and this would be detrimental if I was to speak under these conditions. I ate 3 bananas and an apple. I went to Franco's by 6:30, but no one was there. I called William to drive me to the church. I entered the elevator, and a guy with two crosses around his neck noticed my Bible and asked me where I was going. I told him that I was going to a church service. We talked a little more, and I found out that he is looking for a good church to go to that has a lot of young people. I told him that it is no coincidence that he just met me. This was the divine appointment that I prayed for this morning. We prayed in tongues, especially since Franco was late. Franco introduced me to the slightly rowdy crowd of about 80 high school youths. He mentioned some of my national success in mathematics and computers in high school, then I spoke for about 5 minutes. I did not preach a fiery message, but I spoke a calmly anointed message that "touched" many people. I opened my explaining about my confirmation class and my entering into a relationship with Jesus. I then talked about my broken relationship with my x-girlfriend, and how Jesus healed my heart. I then spoke on some of the reasons why God broke up the relationship, and I quoted some scriptures regarding holiness. I knew that I had changed the atmosphere with my testimony, thus having Franco to speak something different than he planned. As I sat down, William sincerely said, "that was beautiful." Franco then moved in this anointed atmosphere and ministered to people with broken hearts, and had people raise their hand for certain things. I could not believe that I did that. It was a solemn atmosphere. After this, Franco then preached his message on destiny, and then gave an alter call in which 10 people stood up. I ministered to one of them outside after the service. I then talked with one other kid in the church in depth, mostly about his math classes. I did most of the listening. Franco drove Andy and I home. They both came in to visit an international friend. I then had them meet my divine appointment, Jason, in room 829. I read my Bible, then meditated on my scripture, then went to bed before 12.

FRIDAY, August 22: I went to Franco's apartment again, since Mary Lou and most of the guys are in Gainesville for the last day of the Leadership Lab. Jim came later again. I got home at 8:20 and I drove Craig to Burger King where we ate a good quick breakfast. It's nice to eat again. I worked from 9 till 5 p.m. and I completed 3 programs for Highland's new management system: TEACHER, PRESCRIP, and TROUTMAN. Dr. Troutman was impressed. I told her that the success came as the result of my hard work plus the fact that the programs were written well and flexible. She was pleased. PRINT will be very time consuming. I read my Bible after eating at Burger King with Craig for lunch. I got some more fruit for dinner. I worked in Joe's Bible Study book on chapter 6 entitled, "Joy." Jason, my divine appointment from yesterday, came with me to the home group and he was excited about our group. I talked a lot with Fay and Jason. We finally got organized after fellowshipping for over an hour. I told my testimony of meeting Jason, and how our Church has been praying for a drummer for our music group and that Jason wants to play the drums for us. Everyone was excited. Later I shared my testimony of meeting an old lady in the Mexican pavilion in EPCOT and telling her the last words that my grandmother told my mother. I excitedly told the story, but it was not as dramatic or well told as it should have been, but the story was from my heart and came fluently out of my mouth. I talked to Rod after we broke up. Jason and I did some last minute cleaning before leaving. I got to bed before 12.

SATURDAY, August 23: I tried to wake up early, but I hit the snooze button for about 1 hour before getting up. Only John Barber came to the Fontana prayer meeting. I assumed that the others got to bed late last night after getting home from Gainesville. John and I had a good 1 hour prayer, and we prayed for the campus. I stretched and then went to the USF track for our church run-a-thon from 11 till 12. I only have 2 sponsors for $20 each, Hong Wing and my parents. Our individual goals were suppose to be $400, but very few came close. Only a few people were on time, and I was about to lead everyone in getting the event started, since Franco and the other leaders were not here, but I did not seem to have the influential power and authority to do so. They wanted to wait for Franco and their friends. I was a bit upset since our church cannot depend solely on Franco. There must be others who will rise up and fill in when the leaders fall down. By 11:03, Jim Blaha the associate pastor came and I was discouraged from leading the event. I quietly sat down and watched the unorganized event get started 10 minutes later. Jim opened in prayer, which was good, and I did not even think of doing so since I was in a rush. We were told to get to the track way before 11 a.m. so that we could start on time. Steve, Walkie and I ran together for 2 miles then Steve went ahead of us. Our first mile was in 7:55, but our second was about 9 minutes. I ran 10 laps then got a drink with Walkie. I then walked at least 5 laps with different people, including Ricky whom I preached to a bit. I saw Patty for the first time in 2 weeks. She had warm-up pants on, why? It was hot. Was it so that she could keep my heart extra pure? Steve mentioned that he needed some guys to help move a desk from downtown Tampa to the office. After praying and thinking, I decided to gladly volunteer my valuable time. I was glad to be a servant. My attitude has changed a bit about serving and thus not accomplishing my goals. I drove Darla home alone. I asked her about Sandra, the girl from Venezuela whom I brought to our church a long time ago. She said that she went back home, but she was having problems. Sandra would not become a "covenant" sister doing the things that should be done in the church. I could sense that Darla was a little upset about the matter, though she was just explaining it. I could have let Darla get out of the car and me do nothing but say good-bye, but I decided to pray with her. I asked her to join "fingers" with me. We joined our index finger together and I prayed against any bitterness or unforgiveness that she may have toward Sandra and for things to go well when they see each other again soon. As I finished, Rhonda was peeking into the car window smiling and wondering what was going on, but I think that she knew. I drove to the office where Larry took me in his truck to downtown Tampa while Roberta, Steve and Cliff went in another car. I wanted to hear from Larry about the Leadership Lab that he went to for the past 2 weeks. He really liked it, especially the prophesies. He tried to remember the major points of each teaching. He emphasized that the best teaching was by Walter Walker on "God's Perfect Choice." Bob Weiner liked the message so much that he encouraged everyone to buy the tape, and he lowered the price to $1 per tape. Larry said that Walter says that we should not pray with girls since great men of God have fallen into sin as a result of it. Immediately I thought of what Darla and Rhonda were thinking when I prayed with Darla, since both of them heard Walter's message. I was not convicted by God, but I wonder if the girls were thinking that I need to be "set" right by one of the brothers. I disagree with this step of precaution, but in most people's case it may be wise. However, I do not have problems with getting close to girls, since I treat them as friends, but I might have trouble if I got to close to Patty. Another thing Larry mentioned was that we should not "treat younger women" as anything but sisters even when we are about to get married. If we think about our potential mate as our mate then we are not thinking of them as our sister or brother and thus not treating them in that way. I was a little resistant toward this teaching since I definitely think of Patty as my future mate, and as a result we almost play those roles, though we treat each other as a sibling. He said that our emotions are not to come for the other person until we are engaged, which I knew, but I have slight emotional sensations every now and then for her. I know that Patty is going to be totally different toward me and has been "convicted" to live an even more pure life. He said that the future couple does not have another chance to live and example "pre-engagement" for their testimony. I have been conscious of this. I am reluctant to follow some of this teaching since my Spirit allows me to be more lenient since I have not had such a problem with girls in my past. However, because everyone is expected to obey their leaders, I will humbly submit. In psychology, we learned that it is easier to agree to something small and then to continue to agree to some other demands rather than to agree to a great demand immediately. If God had not shown me my perfect mate at the time that He did, and I was fully aware of the Maranatha Dating and Holiness policy, I'm not sure I would have stayed in Maranatha, but I would have gone somewhere else that loves to serve God and has more "realistic" views toward dating and marriage. However, God in His grace has saved me and given me everything I need in life to be a success in His kingdom. Us four guys carried a heavy desk out of Roberta's law office and put it into Larry's truck. Larry, Steve and I drove home. Steve talked about the Leadership Lab. Steve then showed me some of his notes from the Lab, and as he mentioned Walter's message, I obviously showed a little bit of interest and I'm sure he knew that I was interested in this. He discussed his notes briefly. He mentioned a new "revelation" from Walter Walker on waiting for God's perfect choice rather than choosing your own. However, the Spirit within me jumped in defense against the scripture supporting it in Genesis 6:2-4. I remembered reading and studying those scriptures and I knew that the men where punished but not because "they" chose their own mates but because the "fallen angels" chose their own wives. I was a little resistant towards most of the message, but it was a good message. I just did not like him supporting Maranatha doctrine with a scripture out of context. I went home and I cried to the Lord for an hour about this situation. I don't remember exactly my feelings and why I felt that way, but I was sort of hurt. Also, I believe that Walter was wrong, but how could I be right and all the others be wrong. I cried my prayers to God by my bed on the floor for wisdom and the truth. I found the source and it seems that I am right that the scriptures do not apply to men, but to angels. Jude 6 and 2 Peter 2:4-6 support my claim, as well as the Good News and the Living Bible versions. I studied this for over an hour. It soon became time to pick up Steve to go out to eat. We finally ate at Shoney's. He first talked about his problem in the reality that he can only have about 4 close friends during his life time. We ate the salad bar and I ordered a delicious meat patty and a baked potato. After Steve talked for a while he asked me, "so what's on your heart?" I said, "that's a good question." I was not going to mention anything, since I was going to possibly bring up my contrary teaching in front of the leaders meeting tomorrow. However, I somehow wanted to release what was exploding on the inside of me. I did so in a round about way. I first convinced him that Matthew 14 which talks about the Helper that will come and bear witness of Jesus, is actually Muhammad who started the Moslem movement in 600 A.D. He could not refute me, but then I had him analyze how he was trying to refute me. He tried to either THINK of contrary ideas or to remember contrary teachings. I emphasized, "1 billion people can't be wrong," though I knew that this is not so. The point was that too often we just believe any teaching as being from God because a godly man spoke it, but I do not. I try to make sure that what is being said is from God, not of men. It seems as if no one at the Leadership Lab caught Walter Walker's mistake. I then questioned Steve about Genesis 6:2 and he recalled it saying "Sons of men", which upset me and I questioned the accuracy of his words many times. I finally got to the point that he said "sons of Men" because he has been under the impression that these were human men who had intercourse with the wives, rather than spiritual beings. It was the spiritual beings that chose wives contrary to God's will, not humans. Therefore this scripture does not support Maranatha doctrine. We then went to the car and I showed him the scriptures and Jude 6 and 2 Peter 2:4-6 which supported my claim. I took him to my room to look at the Paraphrase translations to really understand these scriptures. He was convinced at what I was saying. The question is "what was Walter's motive for saying what he did?" 1. To purposely deceive us into believing Maranatha doctrine, 2. He was deceived, 3. He was not sure and went for the benefit of the doubt. I guess that I am mostly upset because of a great man whom I respect was "deceiving" people rather than because of a fallacy in the teaching. However, I know the leader's heart's and so does Steve and we know that they are pure. I talked with Steve from 6:30 till 10:30 p.m. I opened up a lot to him and continuously talked and preached. He finally realizes that it was true that I "talk and talk and talk" to Hong Wing. I shared that I fear that my pride will cause me to fall and I asked him to help me with this. You can be right with your argument, as I was today, but wrong in attitude and thus wrong over all. I feel good that I got everything out. Steve was not sure of my motives at first. I expanded on this idea, since this happens constantly to me throughout my life. I need to work on explaining my motive ahead and having the proper attitude, not a haughty one. God has gifted me with a great ability, but I must not become prideful in this fact. I did some of the chapter on Depression in Joe's Spiritual Warfare book.

SUNDAY, August 24: I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and I did my laundry and read my Bibles. I then prayed for an hour. I mostly thought as I prayed, since my mind was still thinking about Gen. 6:2-4. I am in the process of purifying my motive for telling everyone about Walter's fallacy. I am overcoming the pride of having the ability to do such a thing, and now desiring to set people straight for the sake of revealing God's truth. I was a bit upset that my laundry was still wet after 2 tumbles. I will dry it again tomorrow. Jason came over and I took him to church. Paul Barker, who has inspired me with his teachings in the past, spoke at our service. He says that the principles of success have been rooted in the Bible. These include 1. Love a Challenge, not to be complacent. He encouraged us of a smart guy in Electronic Engineering who finished with a 2.2 but got a job. This shows that we do not need to worry too much about our grades. We must do more than our Minimum Daily Requirement as a Christian, which is what I do. 2.Make a Choice when confronted with difficulty; don't blame others. 3. Take a chance: The fear of failure stops people from accomplishing their dream. You will fail sometimes, but don't worry because everyone will forget your failures when you have success. After the service, I asked Steve if I should present my objections of Walter's scripture to Paul Barker. We finally decided that we would, with Steve making sure that my motive and attitude is right so that I do not blow up as I did last night. Franco took Paul out to eat, so I missed my chance. Steve, Jason and I ate at Wendy's then returned. I called Franco and asked if I could come over with Steve and present my view of Walter's teaching so that Paul could see if I am right. Franco first said, 'No', since Paul was resting on his Sabbath, but I emphasized that it was important that I had a real teacher look at my view and I feel that it is divine since he knows Walter Walker. Steve and I prayed in my room for 5 minutes before I gathered my 3 Bibles and went to Franco's apartment. Paul was lying on the couch and he asked if we could talk to him while he laid on the couch, which set the atmosphere to the feeling that we were intruding. I politely introduced myself, and then Steve had pre-planned to start things off so that my motive would not be misinterpreted, but I noticed that I could have done a better job. When my emotions are under control and I concentrate on what I am doing and saying, I can say and do thing excellently. I then took over the discussion when Steve was about to share my revelation of Gen. 6:2-4. I emphasized that I am not criticizing Maranatha doctrine, because I believe strongly in God's perfect choice and holiness, but I said that I don't think that these verses support what Walter said. Walter claimed that God never changes and he punished men back then for choosing their own wives. However, these men were angels, so this does not apply to us. I logically and humbly went through the 3 passages in 3 different translations that supported my belief that these beings were angels not men. This is clearly stated as "spiritual beings" in the paraphrases. After these immoral acts, God wiped man and angels off the earth with the flood and saved Noah. In Jude 6, it talks about angels abandoning their proper estate which could mean that they came to earth. In verse 7, the Bible compares the angels immoral acts to those of Sodom and Gomorrah. Were these the same angels as in Genesis 6:2? In 2 Peter 2:4-6, it talks about the angels, then about preserving Noah in the flood, then the correlation of Sodom and Gomorrah. Clearly these 3 passages are related. Afterwards I asked him what he thought. He said that there has been discrepancies over this passage in the past, but if he was to believe something he would take my view. He asked me to write to Walter Walker and "present my case logically just as I did here." I told him I would. I mentioned that Paul is my favorite teacher and that I am inspired by his teachings and articles in the Forerunner. He does not know "WHO" I am or who God is raising me to be, so these statements were probably just "good" ordinary words to him. Paul wanted to go to the bookstore and wanted Franco to go. I offered to drive Paul, but he later refused to go since Franco would not go. I know that Franco was thinking that this would be a good opportunity for me to get to know Paul and vice versa since he is the teacher that has inspired me the most. Plus, we both knew that Paul did not look to me as a "leader" in the church since I did not go to the Leadership Lab and he does not know me, so I was no one special that he should fellowship with. This is fine with me for now. I do not want to be raised up before my appointed time. Steve walked me out and I thanked him. I typed in my diary for the past few days, and I also worked on the chapter of "Discouragement" in Joe Smith's book. At 7:30, I went to Franco's for the campus meeting, but Russ then drove me to Jim Blaha's for the meeting where we waited outside for Franco. Jim took Paul to the airport so he got to talk to him. Jim approached me and said something like, "I heard you were challenging Walter's message on the theology." I modestly bowed my head and smiled. We talked a little. Franco led the crowded meeting from 8:20 till 10:20 p.m. It inspired me to rise up to be the leader for our church campus group. This is where our first commitment after God is. It is acceptable to slack off in school to do such a thing that will change the world. I excitedly preached to Russ about our purpose in life and about being unselfish of our time and being committed to the church functions. I was excited, but after I called home to my parents, things started to dwindle. I was not excited to talk to them and they condemned me for being so active in the church. I went to bed meditating on part of the Shepherd's prayer, Psalms 23.

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